Post by Jack H. on Jul 10, 2009 22:59:21 GMT -5
81 Proven Facts About Captain Falcon
1. Captain Falcon doesn't eat food unless it was once breathing.
2. Captain Falcon doesn't brawl. He wins.
3. Ganondorf and God had a son. His name is Captain Falcon. He wasn't born. He just was.
4. In school, Captain Falcon wasn't ever a student. He was the teacher, principle, office staff, and councilor.
5. Hurricanes don't form because of weather. Captain Falcon just hates southern America.
6. They asked Captian Falcon to be in a movie with Ganondorf once. The result was a movie so kicka$$ only Jesus and Buddha were able to watch the whole thing without melting.
7. Captain Falcon is the reason why the chicken crossed the road. No questions.
8. Captain Falcon can Falcon Punch you... over the phone.
9. Ghost don't exist. Just people Captain Falcon has punched.
10. The cellphone was invented to better help humanity warn each other of Captain Falcon's presence.
11. Captain Falcon eats diamond rings for breakfast, and mountains for dessert.
12. Once Captain Falcon, Falcon Punched a rock in space. We call this the Big Bang.
13. Captain Falcon has over 10000000 children. From 24 different planets.
14. Someone once tried to stab Captain Falcon with a butcher knife. That poor, pityful soul.
15. Captain Falcon doesn't take baths. The baths take him. On command.
16. Captain Falcon never reads... he knows.
17. Captain Falcon uses car oil for facewash.
18. They say everything happens for a reason. That reason is Captain Falcon.
19. The amount of energy in a single Falcon Punch could power 2 million cities for 20 years, and impregnate 1000 women at the same time.
20. Captain Falcon uses the oceans to do his laundry.
21. E=mc2 ... But Captain Falcon=FPiyF (Falcon Punch in your face.)
22. Ganondorf and Captain Falcon love to have sparring sessions. We call these earthquakes.
23. Captain Falcon can revive the dead. He only uses this to revive people he has punched, and only to just punch them again and again and again.
24. The reason Captain Falcon was nerfed in SSBB wasn't because he was too broken in SSBM, but because there can NEVER be another Captain Falcon equal in his greatness.
25. Captain Falcon once won first place in a Nascar race. On his hands.
26. Captain Falcon once rode to work on a rainbow.
27. Did you know that Captain Falcon actually won ALL the previous American Idol shows? They couldn't show him because his voice can literally shatter glass, and cause global warming.
28. George Bush is our president. Captian Falcon is our fear.
29. Captain Falcon has never bled. He has been reportedly stabbed before, but nothing game out except awesomeness.
30. In an english dictionary, Captain Falcon is under these three words: Fear, Man, and Awesome.
31. Captain Falcon can toast bread with his spit.
32. Ciggerates were only invented to help kill humans fast enough so Captain Falcon wouldn't be able to Falcon Punch them in time.
33. This facts list has more than 25 facts, because Captain Falcon wanted there to be more.
34. Have you ever wondered about the meaning of life? Captain Falcon laughs at this because he sees humans as appetizers and planet Earth as one of his grocery stores.
35. Captain Falcon once created a Myspace. He instantly had over 50 million friends. Everyone who didn't add him got Falcon Punched threw the computer screen 3 times.
36. Captain Falcon is the reason for the season.
37. Captain Falcon laughs at Hitler. Captain Falcon can kill 3 million people a day and still have time to create a beautiful painting.
38. The reason the dinosaurs are extinct is beacause Captain Falcon lost a bet with Ganondorf.
39. Have you wondered why gas prices have been rising? It's because Captain Falcon has been using all the gasoline on Earth to fuel his pet space ship.
40. Captain Falcon can kill 2 birds with one punch.
41. Captain Falcon CAN escape taxes.
42. The only thing stronger than a Falcon Punch is
43. Captain Falcon's favorite snack is car tires, and human souls. He prefers souls medium-rare.
44. They say pie is 3.14 , Captain Falcon is 1.337.
45. Captain Falcon has never had a license.
46. In his spare time, Captain Falcon likes to go shopping at his favorite store. He calls it "Food and fun", we call it "Funeral Home"
47. Whenever Captain Falcon takes off his helmet that means Ganondorf has entered the building.
48. Captain Falcon has 3 friends. Ganondorf, God, and Death.
49. The only thing that scares Captain Falcon is himself.
50. They don't sell Captain Falcon halloween costumes in stores. If they did, the homocide rate on Halloween would be devistating. There is only one Captain Falcon.
51. Captain Falcon invented a way to time travel.
52. As a child, Captain Falcon's favortie toy was a Chevy 4x4.
53. Captain Falcon CAN count to infinity.
54. Suns don't go out by themselves. Captain Falcon just uses them as birthday cakes.
55. Captain Falcon wrote the bible, when he was 7.
56. Don't ever try and search for a video of someone getting Falcon Punched on Youtube. The amount of pure awesomeness contained in a such a horrific video is said to be a leading cause of cancer.
57. Captain Falcon was asked to have his own reality show. The only network that agreed to air it was the History Channel. For obvious reasons.
58. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Captain Falcon in the face. Chuck Norris is now retired.
59. The Blue Falcon runs on FP. (Falcon Punch)
60. Captain Falcon framed Roger Rabbit.
61. Captain Falcon's armpit sweat is said to have the powers of immortality.
62. Captain Falcon cannot lose. Scientist have proven this. If, for someday, he losses then you might as well hold out your face...for a punch.
63. No one can really describe how it feels to get Falcon Punched. No one has ever lived threw it, and no one shall.
64. Captain Falcon doesn't enter nightclubs. The last time he was seen in one, he divorced 39 women the same day.
65. Captain Falcon once pee'd in a cup and violently threw it at Allah, Allah then proceeded to get on his knees and chant "I am not worthy" and handed over control of the entire Islamic faith to Captain Falcon.
66. Captain Falcon can dribble a football, slam a revolving door, and and perform similtaneous brain and heart surgery all at the same time.......with his penis.
67. Captain Falcon once farted while eating a chili cheese dog at the beach. This is why New Jersey smells.
68. Ever wondered why you dont see any Freddy Krueger movies anymore? He accidentally invaded the wrong mans dream and is now no longer existant, in life or death.
69. Captain Falcon went on Dancing with the Stars, he literally danced with the stars.
70. Captain Falcon was recently in a pornographic film. It was 26 scenes of him starring at women.
71. Captain Falcon impregnated the Tooth Fairy.
72. During his childhood, Captain Falcon didn't believe in Santa Clause, because Santa Clause didn't believe in Captian Falcon.
73. Water is to Fire, as Captain Falcon is to life.
74. Captain Falcon never needs to know what time it is.
75. Its been said that Captian Falcon's pubes were the reason World War 1 ended.
76. Captain Falcon can make guacamole with oranges.
77. If you google "Captain Falcon" nothing will pop up except funeral service websites and burial ground directories.
78. Captain Falcon counts his eggs before they hatch.
79. The Grim Reaper works for Captain Falcon at minimum wage.
80. Bill Gates is one of Captain Falcon's cousins.
81. Oprah once had Captain Falcon as a guest on her show. Though they never aired it on cable television, you can watch that episode of Oprah at "nastyporno.com".
1. Captain Falcon doesn't eat food unless it was once breathing.
2. Captain Falcon doesn't brawl. He wins.
3. Ganondorf and God had a son. His name is Captain Falcon. He wasn't born. He just was.
4. In school, Captain Falcon wasn't ever a student. He was the teacher, principle, office staff, and councilor.
5. Hurricanes don't form because of weather. Captain Falcon just hates southern America.
6. They asked Captian Falcon to be in a movie with Ganondorf once. The result was a movie so kicka$$ only Jesus and Buddha were able to watch the whole thing without melting.
7. Captain Falcon is the reason why the chicken crossed the road. No questions.
8. Captain Falcon can Falcon Punch you... over the phone.
9. Ghost don't exist. Just people Captain Falcon has punched.
10. The cellphone was invented to better help humanity warn each other of Captain Falcon's presence.
11. Captain Falcon eats diamond rings for breakfast, and mountains for dessert.
12. Once Captain Falcon, Falcon Punched a rock in space. We call this the Big Bang.
13. Captain Falcon has over 10000000 children. From 24 different planets.
14. Someone once tried to stab Captain Falcon with a butcher knife. That poor, pityful soul.
15. Captain Falcon doesn't take baths. The baths take him. On command.
16. Captain Falcon never reads... he knows.
17. Captain Falcon uses car oil for facewash.
18. They say everything happens for a reason. That reason is Captain Falcon.
19. The amount of energy in a single Falcon Punch could power 2 million cities for 20 years, and impregnate 1000 women at the same time.
20. Captain Falcon uses the oceans to do his laundry.
21. E=mc2 ... But Captain Falcon=FPiyF (Falcon Punch in your face.)
22. Ganondorf and Captain Falcon love to have sparring sessions. We call these earthquakes.
23. Captain Falcon can revive the dead. He only uses this to revive people he has punched, and only to just punch them again and again and again.
24. The reason Captain Falcon was nerfed in SSBB wasn't because he was too broken in SSBM, but because there can NEVER be another Captain Falcon equal in his greatness.
25. Captain Falcon once won first place in a Nascar race. On his hands.
26. Captain Falcon once rode to work on a rainbow.
27. Did you know that Captain Falcon actually won ALL the previous American Idol shows? They couldn't show him because his voice can literally shatter glass, and cause global warming.
28. George Bush is our president. Captian Falcon is our fear.
29. Captain Falcon has never bled. He has been reportedly stabbed before, but nothing game out except awesomeness.
30. In an english dictionary, Captain Falcon is under these three words: Fear, Man, and Awesome.
31. Captain Falcon can toast bread with his spit.
32. Ciggerates were only invented to help kill humans fast enough so Captain Falcon wouldn't be able to Falcon Punch them in time.
33. This facts list has more than 25 facts, because Captain Falcon wanted there to be more.
34. Have you ever wondered about the meaning of life? Captain Falcon laughs at this because he sees humans as appetizers and planet Earth as one of his grocery stores.
35. Captain Falcon once created a Myspace. He instantly had over 50 million friends. Everyone who didn't add him got Falcon Punched threw the computer screen 3 times.
36. Captain Falcon is the reason for the season.
37. Captain Falcon laughs at Hitler. Captain Falcon can kill 3 million people a day and still have time to create a beautiful painting.
38. The reason the dinosaurs are extinct is beacause Captain Falcon lost a bet with Ganondorf.
39. Have you wondered why gas prices have been rising? It's because Captain Falcon has been using all the gasoline on Earth to fuel his pet space ship.
40. Captain Falcon can kill 2 birds with one punch.
41. Captain Falcon CAN escape taxes.
42. The only thing stronger than a Falcon Punch is
43. Captain Falcon's favorite snack is car tires, and human souls. He prefers souls medium-rare.
44. They say pie is 3.14 , Captain Falcon is 1.337.
45. Captain Falcon has never had a license.
46. In his spare time, Captain Falcon likes to go shopping at his favorite store. He calls it "Food and fun", we call it "Funeral Home"
47. Whenever Captain Falcon takes off his helmet that means Ganondorf has entered the building.
48. Captain Falcon has 3 friends. Ganondorf, God, and Death.
49. The only thing that scares Captain Falcon is himself.
50. They don't sell Captain Falcon halloween costumes in stores. If they did, the homocide rate on Halloween would be devistating. There is only one Captain Falcon.
51. Captain Falcon invented a way to time travel.
52. As a child, Captain Falcon's favortie toy was a Chevy 4x4.
53. Captain Falcon CAN count to infinity.
54. Suns don't go out by themselves. Captain Falcon just uses them as birthday cakes.
55. Captain Falcon wrote the bible, when he was 7.
56. Don't ever try and search for a video of someone getting Falcon Punched on Youtube. The amount of pure awesomeness contained in a such a horrific video is said to be a leading cause of cancer.
57. Captain Falcon was asked to have his own reality show. The only network that agreed to air it was the History Channel. For obvious reasons.
58. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Captain Falcon in the face. Chuck Norris is now retired.
59. The Blue Falcon runs on FP. (Falcon Punch)
60. Captain Falcon framed Roger Rabbit.
61. Captain Falcon's armpit sweat is said to have the powers of immortality.
62. Captain Falcon cannot lose. Scientist have proven this. If, for someday, he losses then you might as well hold out your face...for a punch.
63. No one can really describe how it feels to get Falcon Punched. No one has ever lived threw it, and no one shall.
64. Captain Falcon doesn't enter nightclubs. The last time he was seen in one, he divorced 39 women the same day.
65. Captain Falcon once pee'd in a cup and violently threw it at Allah, Allah then proceeded to get on his knees and chant "I am not worthy" and handed over control of the entire Islamic faith to Captain Falcon.
66. Captain Falcon can dribble a football, slam a revolving door, and and perform similtaneous brain and heart surgery all at the same time.......with his penis.
67. Captain Falcon once farted while eating a chili cheese dog at the beach. This is why New Jersey smells.
68. Ever wondered why you dont see any Freddy Krueger movies anymore? He accidentally invaded the wrong mans dream and is now no longer existant, in life or death.
69. Captain Falcon went on Dancing with the Stars, he literally danced with the stars.
70. Captain Falcon was recently in a pornographic film. It was 26 scenes of him starring at women.
71. Captain Falcon impregnated the Tooth Fairy.
72. During his childhood, Captain Falcon didn't believe in Santa Clause, because Santa Clause didn't believe in Captian Falcon.
73. Water is to Fire, as Captain Falcon is to life.
74. Captain Falcon never needs to know what time it is.
75. Its been said that Captian Falcon's pubes were the reason World War 1 ended.
76. Captain Falcon can make guacamole with oranges.
77. If you google "Captain Falcon" nothing will pop up except funeral service websites and burial ground directories.
78. Captain Falcon counts his eggs before they hatch.
79. The Grim Reaper works for Captain Falcon at minimum wage.
80. Bill Gates is one of Captain Falcon's cousins.
81. Oprah once had Captain Falcon as a guest on her show. Though they never aired it on cable television, you can watch that episode of Oprah at "nastyporno.com".
